The Art of DEEP Listening: LOVE IN THE SPACE BETWEEN

The Art of DEEP Listening: Love in the space between

For much of my life, I thought listening was about technique—keeping eye contact, nodding at the right moments, repeating back what someone said. These gestures can help, but they don’t touch the heart of what listening really is.

Listening deeply is not performance. It is presence.

When we listen with presence, something remarkable happens. We step together into the living space between us. That space is not empty—it is alive. It holds connection, healing, and often, wisdom neither of us could have reached alone.

Listening in this way is an act of love.

Why We Miss the Space Between

Many of us carry old imprints from childhood: “Be quiet and listen,” “Do as you’re told,” “Children should be seen and not heard.” In those moments, listening became confused with obedience rather than connection.

As adults, the same patterns linger. We half-listen while preparing our reply. We assume we already know what the other person will say. Or our nervous system, shaped by stress or criticism, listens not for connection but for signs of danger.

It isn’t that we don’t care. It’s that we haven’t learned how to rest into the space between.

Presence Changes the Atmosphere

When I recently led a listening training with school staff, I noticed how quickly the atmosphere shifted once people let go of the need to fix or perform.

Breathing deepened. Shoulders dropped. People leaned into one another, not out of duty but from genuine connection.

It was no longer about one person speaking and another person listening. We had entered the shared field together.

This is the quiet power of presence: it transforms the gap between us into a living space where safety and trust can grow.

Seven Doorways Into Deep Listening

In my work with The Art of Connected Presence, I offer a 7-step journey into authentic connection that spans body, soul, and spirit.

What follows here is a companion thread: seven simple doorways into the practice of listening itself. They sit alongside the deeper journey—everyday invitations you can carry into conversations that open the shared space between us.

1. Curiosity for the Space Between

Listening begins with curiosity. Instead of assuming we already know, we lean into the in-between and wonder what might emerge. Curiosity keeps us open and willing to discover together.

2. Truth in the Body & Safety in the Nervous System

The body is the first listener. Breath, posture, and tension reveal whether we are open or defended. By softening our physiology—slowing the breath, releasing the jaw, feeling the ground—we invite safety. When the body steadies, listening can deepen.

3. Openness of Heart

Listening with the heart means allowing another’s truth to belong, even when it unsettles us. It is not agreement, but quiet acceptance of what is present.

4. Humility of Ego

Humility asks us to set aside the need to be right or impressive. In the shared field, no single perspective is complete. Humility allows something greater to be revealed together.

5. Courage to Stay Present

Listening sometimes brings us near to pain—our own or another’s. Courage is what allows us to remain when we might want to retreat. It keeps us steady long enough for healing to unfold.

6. Attunement to the Third Presence

In deeper listening, something more than “me” or “you” arises—a collective wisdom, a third presence. We notice silence, pauses, tone, and what is forming in the field itself. This is where the unexpected can appear.

7. Unity Through Shared Presence

At its deepest, listening dissolves the illusion of separateness. We discover that we belong in the same field. Unity is not sameness but the quiet recognition: we are not alone.

Everyday Invitations

These doorways are not techniques to master, but practices to return to. You might begin simply by:

• Allowing a pause before replying.

• Checking in with your body and breath during conversation.

• Meeting another’s words with openness instead of rushing to fix.

• Noticing what arises in the silence as much as in the speech.

Listening as Freedom

Deep listening is not about obedience or agreement. It is about freedom—the freedom to speak, to hear oneself, and to meet in the shared space where love becomes visible.

Each time you listen with your whole being, you plant a quiet seed of connection. That seed ripples outward into families, schools, and communities.

Listening in this way reminds us: love does not live in me or in you alone. Love is found in the space between us.

Would you like to join a listening practice and discover some truly impactful ways to improve connections and a sense of joy and peacefulness in all areas of your life? Yes, this really has the potential to change your life and the lives of those with whom you live and love. Being able to listen authentically in freedom, can free you and the other in ways you can’t yet imagine!

email your interest to admin@wellsprings.edu.hk